CatCallsofNYC’s Sophie Sandberg & The “Cool Girl Monologue”
— by Macy Castañeda Lee (macy@td-msom.org)
Advocacy and awareness through chalking is something past high school student, Sophie Sandberg, thought of as an in-class project to prevent catcalling in the city. Born and raised in New York, Sandberg has always noticed the persistent verbal harassment women would experience, from streets to subways to intimate and seemingly safe spaces. I photographed and talked with Sandberg in Queens to learn more about how CatCallsofNYC's art and words collide to create an effective way to raise awareness of what seems like just another "everyday" occurrence for New Yorkers. We stop by one corner and take out around ten different colored chalk to write up a submission given by an anonymous girl through CatCalls' Instagram page and start drafting it up. As we began chalking, I noticed a change in action with people as they walked by; most took time to stop and read what the whole write-up on the street was about, striking me with its appeal and effectiveness. Having only lived here for a month and a few days, it is a fact that New Yorkers always walk fast, in a carefree manner, and with direction and purpose. They don't take time to stop by little corners or observe what's around them; I assume that is always the tourists' job. However, I am pleased with how many others I noticed that day; I took time to read Sandberg's words on "stop street harassment" and a glimpse of what other women have experienced.
I talk more with Sandberg as she shares more on the intricacies of this issue in New York:
"Catcalling is prevalent everywhere in different ways. Patriarchy and harmful gender norms teach boys and men that it's normal (or even cool & a good way to fit in) to sexualize and objectify women and girls. Beyond that, catcalling often targets anyone considered "other" because of race, ethnicity, ability, gender expression, sexuality... etc. There is a lot of violent catcalling directed at folks who show markers of "difference," It seems like a way for boys and men to exert power and affirm their notion of masculinity. In NYC, it's more prevalent because of the sheer volume of people. The streets are so busy that catcalling is very common. There's also an anonymity in NYC - so men can say something extremely vulgar and disgusting to someone walking down the street and not have any accountability."
"I know a lot of women who don't crave male validation... but I think that the male gaze and appealing to the male gaze is something that can be ingrained in women from a young age. Looking "pretty," "sexy," or "hot" within certain parameters is often rewarded by our (patriarchal, racist, capitalist) society. I think a lot of us are socialized to aspire to that. And breaking that down can sometimes be hard."
We continued this conversation by discussing the "cool girl" monologue portrayed in the infamous film Gone Girl which aired in 2014. This conversation with Sandberg on female abuse and the need to be engulfed in the male gaze reminded me of its result in most women: the female rage, relentless and unpredictable in its implementation.
"The cool girl monologue fits into the male gaze and a fantasy of what it means to be an appealing woman (in every sense). This idea of a "cool girl" who does whatever a man wants to fit into his life is a bigger-picture version of catcalling. This idea that a woman is getting dressed and going outside simply for the male gaze/male pleasure is not unlike men assuming that their girlfriend will do whatever he wants. Both of these situations take away all women's autonomy/desire/personhood- and are super frustrating. Many women are outraged and done with all of this because it's exhausting. Being sexualized and mistreated feels horrible, and many of us carry this mistreatment with us for years. I also think the culture is slowly changing, which allows us to see how catcalling / the cool girl monologue is messed up. Sandberg shared that many amazing activists have paved the way and created space for anger and outrage about the mistreatment" Sandberg shared.
Something Sophie highlighted was its exhaustion, not just in New York but anywhere in the world. I believe one of the main reasons why the movie appealed to so many in the first place was its universality in the female rage portrayed and its complete viability in the question of "why." Why me? Why am I deserving of this position? The "cool girl" coined in these contexts reminds me that women are more than just their appeal or persona. It tells of a person but does not ultimately define one as many more factors come into play when considering one's character: integrity.
Words have a lot of meanings, family to family or friend to friend, or stranger to stranger. People have much more power to uplift or degrade than we think. Sandberg and her organization are a pertinent reminder of the use of words and how this transforms lives.
Support CatCallsofNYC and ChalkBackOrg here.